Chapter 2: Conversations in Moonlight

“What happened to your date?” Madeline asked as I stood frozen in the doorway to the girl’s dormitory. Her voice was always a bit soft and breathy, like she was perpetually whispering.

“Um … it … uh, didn’t work out,” I said. I tried not to let the shock show on my face when Olivia’s voice came out of my throat.

“Where’s Agnes?”

“In the common room,” I said, hoping it was true. For all I knew, Agnes, Asia, and the real Olivia were about to come up the stairs and find some doppelganger. The last thing I needed was Romana Basilton, the girl’s prefect, hexing me silly while they waited for Percy to get Professor McGonagall who would undoubtedly —

Best not to think about it.

“She’s with Asia,” I said quickly.

“Campbell?” Madeline sounded surprised. “Why would she —”

“She was the one who found us, and —”

“Found you?” Madeline stood up from her bed. The moonlight from her window washed over her, and I took an unfortunate moment to appreciate what Amit saw in her. She had long and wavy black hair with streaks of bright green running through it that shifted from time to time, making her hair look like the night sky painted with an aurora borealis. The pale light from the window kissed her richly tan skin and made her dark brown eyes look bright and wet. She was almost a proper ghost standing before me, haunting her own bedroom, and waiting for the midnight hour to reveal her true self.

All at once, I forgot about my inevitable doom waiting down the staircase in the form of Agnes and Olivia. Everyone else in the dormitory was asleep as far as I could tell, and there was just this haunting beauty waiting for me, speaking in whispers. She had the same effortless beauty — this almost fae-like quality — that I saw in Olivia’s reflection. My reflection. I shivered and felt the gooseflesh rise over my skin. I ran my hands up and down my arms to warm them, still amazed at how soft and smooth they were, even now.

“Olivia?” Madeline asked, stepping closer to me. The moonlight moved behind her, and I felt the spell of her break loosen its grip on me.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” I put my hand on my head and shook it softly. “Long night. Bad date. Lots went wrong. Asia’s talking it through with Agnes. That’s all.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Um, not really.”

Madeline smiled sadly. Her lips were thin and dark pink. Something about her stung at me. “Come on,” she said. She stepped closer and grabbed my hand. “Everyone else is asleep.” She pulled me back to her bed and tapped on it. I tried to resist — or at least I thought I tried to resist — but then I was on her bed, and she was sitting next to me.

“How about I brush your hair. You close your eyes, and if you start talking about your problems, well —” Her smile widened and warmed. It was all cheeks and lips and something in her eyes, something that made me want to put my head in her lap and tell her all about — I don’t know. I don’t have any problems that I know about. I have good parents and good friends and good marks. I’ll probably go to some Muggle Uni for art like my father did. I’m not like Amit, pining for anyone to sit and listen to my girl problems for ten hours a day.

“If your problems just bubble up,” Madeline said, “I’ll listen. If not, I’ll finally get a chance to work at this tangled mane you have.” She ran her hands through my hair quickly and lightly grabbed the thick curls. She laughed, but I closed my eyes as electricity passed over my scalp and down my neck.

“Um, yeah,” my mouth said before thoughts reached my brain. Things were a bit sluggish, with whatever the heck she had done to me. “Sure.”

Madeline turned me around, so I faced the entrance to the dormitory and grabbed her hairbrush. She got to work and began softly humming to herself while she ran the brush through my hair.

“Ow,” I said, but she didn’t stop. “Ow, ow, ow?” She ignored me and began another stroke. It felt like someone stabbing my scalp with twenty tiny needles. “Hello, ow?”

Madeline clicked her tongue. “You have to take better care of this. I’ve told you. You have such lovely hair. It’s a shame you let it run amuck on your head.”

“Right … well …”

Madeline stopped the brush mid-stroke. “Well, what?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know a lot about that stuff.”

“Brushing your hair?”

“Um, yeah?” I was thankful she couldn’t see my face. I didn’t have the foresight that Amit did when it came to this plan, and I didn’t bring any cue cards. I assumed he would have done all the talking while I hovered around and gave his act credibility.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Madeline said and got back to work brushing. “I know your mother died from … well …”

“Right.” I let her assume whatever she needed to, but the touchy subject of the Dark Lord should be enough to not ask any more questions. I didn’t know Olivia’s mum died back then, but I guess a lot of people did. My parents fled London during the worst of things, so I had to try and read into people’s long silences and heavy glances. They didn’t like to talk about it.

“Would you like me to teach you?” she asked.

“Maybe.” I didn’t want to confirm anything for the real Olivia in case I somehow got out of this. “Maybe just brush it for now?”

“It’ll stop hurting in just a moment, okay?”

I nodded.

“Good, now if you want to close your eyes and relax and tell me all about your date, that’d be great.”

I laughed. I honestly didn’t know Madeline had a sense of humor. As far as I knew, she spent all her time trying to find the best people to hang out with and move up any ladder she encountered. She was a good student — I try to keep my eye on all the strong students — but I’d never heard her crack a joke before.

“Maybe,” I said. “We’ll see.”

“Mhmm.” Madeline went back to humming what sounded like a Muggle song I’d heard on the radio last summer. Another thing I didn’t know. Most witches and wizards stay segregated, but my parents mingle freely with non-magic folk. Dad always says that the best artists didn’t have any magic, they made it. Even in his studio, he didn’t use a single spell to make his art. He said he was a purist that way. Mom said he was just stubborn and proud, but we both knew she admired him for it.

I hummed along with Madeline, and she seemed to perk up behind me. “You know that one?”

“Uh, yeah. A friend of mine likes the Muggle stations, and that one gets stuck in my head all the time.”

“I know,” she said. “I swear it’s got a curse hidden in it somewhere.”

I laughed and let my shoulders sag some. Madeline kept humming, and I went along with her. When she switched songs, I kept up with her, but she didn’t say anything. I got no questions about how I knew so many songs or whether or not Olivia should know these songs. Instead, the moments drifted away from me. We moved from song to song, and I lost track of how many we’d hummed and how long we’d been there. I wasn’t even sure if we finished one song or not. Whenever Madeline was ready to move to a new melody, she jumped off the old song, and I followed her.

My gooseflesh never left me. Instead, it moved up my arms to my neck. It climbed over my scalp, and the sharp pain I felt when the brushing started turned into a relaxing tingling as I melted. Everything in my mind faded as I eased into whatever Madeline was doing. She probably could have gotten me to talk all about my date or Amit’s plan and how I was on Polyjuice potion. I would have talked about anything if I were capable of words at all. As it was, even my humming lost all key and inflection. It was a low-grade purring that rumbled in my chest as Madeline ran the brush through my hair over and over. Not a single hair caught or snagged on the brush. It was all smooth, all silk.

“This must be what cats feel,” I said.

Madeline laughed behind me. It was a majestic and effortless thing, like it was its own word, its own song. It felt like it had weight and substance to it, but it was frail and delicate. It was gossamer glasswork riding the wind of its own melody.

“I can transfigure myself into a cat,” I said. Words were tumbling out while my brain was lightly snoozing thanks to Madeline’s brush.

“Really?” she said. There was something new in her voice, but it was hard to pick up. Everything was fuzzy.

“Yeah, McGonagall showed me.”

“But you hate her.”

“No, I —” Oh gosh. Oh no.

“Isn’t that N.E.W.T. level?” she asked. Her voice was sharp now and full of suspicion. “I thought you did abysmally on your O.W.L.s?”

“Right, sorry. I meant to say I wish McGonagall would show me.”

“You want to be an Animagus?”

I turned around to face her. Her serene fae look was replaced with the classically uppity and snobbish one she usually wore. “Not really.” I laughed nervously and tried to pass it off as thinking this whole thing was silly rather than being dangerously close to ending my wizarding career right here and now.

“Then what —”

“Sorry, I’m really tired. It’s been a long day. And I was relaxed from your brushing, which was brilliant, by the way. Thank you for that. I’m just saying nonsense.”

“Nonsense about being a cat?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking what it would be like to be a cat, you know?”

“Uh … yeah.” She furrowed her brow and bit her lip as she turned around and put the brush back on her nightstand.

“Sorry, I should probably head to — uh —”

“Bed?”

“Right.” I looked around the room. I had no idea which was Olivia’s bed. Besides, I couldn't go to sleep in her bed. Somewhere in this castle, the real Olivia Snarzle was going to return to her bed, and in half an hour — or a few minutes, I really wasn’t sure anymore — I was going to be Elliot Tanner in her bed.

“I think I need to go wash up real quick,” I said as I stood up. “Splash water on my face or something before bed.”

“Sure,” Madeline said without looking at me.

“Right. Be right back, I guess.” I stepped towards the entrance to the dormitory and froze. All I could think about was how close I was. Not just to leaving, but to finally talking to Madeline Snapfire. Amit would kill me if he got expelled for trying to sneak in here with Polyjuice potion, and I succeeded but didn’t get what I came here for.

“Um, Madeline …” I said, turning around slowly.

“What are you, my mother?”

“Maddie, sorry.” I had to be quick. I hadn’t realized how much my entire disguise was “sit still and hum.” If I stayed too much longer, I’d ruin things before the potion wore off. “I just …” I sighed and kicked my feet a bit, barely having to pretend how uncomfortable I was. “Will you talk to me about my date? Oliver was —”

“I thought you went with Cedric.”

“Right, but Oliver was the one who …”

The confusion and frustration etched into her face melted away instantly. “What happened?” she asked. The genuine concern in her voice shook off my nerves, and I felt once more like I wanted to put my head in her lap and tell her all my problems, even if they were mostly Polyjuice and Amit related at this point.

“Um, I …” I sat down next to her. “How do you think it’s supposed to go?”

“A date with Cedric? I have no —”

“I mean a date in general. Like, what would be your ideal date?”

“What did he do?” She rose up off the bed, grabbing her brush like a club. “If he or Wood hurt you, I’ll have their —”

“No.” I held up my hands, trying to calm her down. She slowly sat back down. “It was more disappointing than anything else. I guess I … I …” I sighed and shook my head, looking away from her. It helped with the act, but I couldn’t keep eye contact with her. Her big round eyes kept shifting from fiery rage to crippling sadness. The floor was much easier to look at.

“I didn’t know what I expected,” I whispered. “But it didn’t feel right.”

“Are you …” Madeline grabbed my hand. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

What? Oh boy, the more coded the language the faster I could dig this massive hole for myself. “I don’t know,” I said. “I just … I’m trying to calibrate what’s normal.”

Madeline laughed, but there was a strange bitterness in it. “And you think I know what’s normal?”

I laughed along with her and kept staring at the floor, trying to burn a hole through it with my desperation so I could slip down and escape. “I know, I know,” I said. “There is no normal, but you’re like … the most … I don’t know … grounded witch I know.”

“Grounded. Nice save.” She bumped into me with her shoulder, and I smiled despite my nerves. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever thought of me as anything other than extremely paranoid.”

“I don’t — Never mind.”

A silence settled over us. The moonlight filled the room, casting silvered shadows all around us. It was hard to believe I was really here. For a girls’ dormitory, it didn’t seem different at all from the boys’. I guess with house elves to clean everything up each day, the boys can’t quite get to cataclysmic levels of hygienic disarray. The whole night had been so surreal and yet so normal. I was talking to Madeline like I’ve stayed up talking to Amit ten thousand times. Around us, people slept soundly, and despite the company, the lateness of the hour created its own sanctuary, its own solitude. It was as though the moon herself protected us from listening ears or at least the fear of listening ears, and some deeper and scared part of us could finally relax and be itself.

McGonagall always said there was something about the moon when it comes to transformation. She spoke of the tides and the moon herself being a transformational being. As far as magic is concerned, it obviously affected werewolves and shapeshifters. Many Animagi felt stronger under a full moon. My first time turning into a cat happened under moonlight in the astronomy tower with McGonagall guiding me. It felt like the moon was watching over this new and strange transformation as the Polyjuice potion let me into this sacred space, even if just for an hour.

I let my gaze drift from the floor to my moon-kissed hands, making the hair on my knuckles look soft for once and —

Oh no. No no no no no no.

“I should go wash up,” I said and tried to stand up. Madeline grabbed my hand and held me on the bed.

“Hang on,” she said. “You were going to ask me something.”

I yanked my hand away from her and tried to ignore her offended look. “Oh, right. It’s nothing. I’ll ask when I get back. It can wait.” I put my hands behind my back and started to walk backwards out of the dormitory.

“It’s okay to ask,” Madeline said. I had to get out of here. Now. “I know what it’s like to —”

“I just wanted to ask you how you’d want a boy to treat you on your first date.”

Madeline stood up. “That’s not funny.”

I took three quick steps back to the door. I definitely, definitely was staring at Madeline’s clenched fists. “I just mean, would you want him to bring you flowers?” I laughed nervously, trying to be self-deprecating. “Oliver didn’t bring me any flowers.”

“Cedric?”

“Right.”

Madeline came towards me deliberately. I kept backing up, waiting to bump into the door to the dormitory. “Let me get this straight,” she said. “You want me to tell you how I want a boy to date me?”

“Uh, sure. Right. Yeah.”

Madeline’s wand appeared in her hand.

“Or not,” I said. “Completely up to you.”

“Who are you?”

“Ah hah!” shouted a voice from behind me. I whirled around to see Asia standing in the doorway with her wand pointed at me. There was a burst of white light and pain as something burned my face. Immediately, my face began to swell from what felt like a bee-sting to the nose from a ten-meter-tall bee.

Behind me, Madeline shrieked and all the girls in the dormitory jolted awake. Lights came on and wands were in hand, but Asia was working quickly. She rushed up to me and grabbed my hand, hissing to me, “Go along with it. Now push me backwards.”

I pushed hard against her, and she staggered back. She raised her wand again and said, “This specter won’t haunt us any longer. Revelio!” A faint golden smoke rose from the tip of her wand. I waited for my Polyjuice potion to fade, but instead, my skin turned ghastly white and then translucent. My hair grew long and wispy, and my clothes became a long white dressing gown. All the time, Asia was muttering and flicking her wand quickly while the girls in the dormitory shrieked and huddled together around Madeline, each of them with their wands in their hands. Finally, my feet lifted off the ground, and I was left, looking like a miserable female ghost, hovering in the middle of the girl’s dormitory.

“The same banshee we heard shriek earlier,” Asia said. “You thought you could hide.”

“I just —”

Asia’s eyes widened, and I took the hint. Instead of saying anything, I shrieked at the top of my lungs. For a moment, nothing happened, for as it turns out, I can’t shriek very loudly. But then Asia made another flick of her wand, and my roar turned into a proper banshee shriek. It sounded similar to the alarm on the girl’s staircase, and all around the room, girls dropped to their knees and held their ears. But not Asia. Merlin bless the girl, but she held her ground and played her part beautifully. She kept a power stance, pointed the wand at me, and muttered another incantation. I felt something tether my chest to the tip of her hand, and she circled around me. As she did, I was forced to circle away from Madeline and the other terrified girls and head to the one place I wanted to get to: the stupid staircase.

Asia kept up her act, walking me out of the dormitory and waving back anyone who tried to interfere. She said McGonagall was waiting downstairs, and they needed to stay back and wait for the prefects to come. As we moved down the steps, I waited for the staircase to shriek at me again and drop me through the floor like it did Amit, especially now that the Polyjuice potion had worn off, but nothing happened. Instead, the pack of girls ignored Asia’s orders and watched us both head towards the common room. I roared at them to scare them off, and Asia helped me by giving me another banshee-level howl. But in that flickering moment before the girls turned and ran, I saw a look in Madeline’s eyes as she watched Asia save the girls from the horrible banshee.

It was the same look Amit was always giving her.

When we reached the common room, there was no one waiting for us. I was confused until we walked through some spell’s threshold, and I realized Asia had created a soundproof barrier to try and muffle my banshee wails. We’d find out soon how well it worked.

“Hurry,” Asia said. “The sooner you get to bed, the less anyone will find out.” She flicked her wand again and the dozens of charms and incantations she’d cast over me dropped at once. I was grounded and entirely myself again. Not a sign of Olivia Snarzle in sight.

“What about Olivia and Agnes? What did you —”

“Not now.” She gave me a shove towards the boys’ dormitory. “Go.”

I rushed up the boys’ stairwell, skipping two steps at a time. Once at the top, I got down low and crawled towards my bunk. There was a candle lit by Amit’s bed, but when I got close, there was nothing but pillows under the covers.

“Behind you,” Amit said.

I jumped and spun around to see Amit lying in my bed with the blanket over his head. “Shh,” he hissed. “Get down.”

Someone mumbled something in their sleep nearby, and I crept down and inched my way to my bed. “What are you doing in my bed?” I whispered.

“Pretending to be you. I was already caught. This way at least you had an alibi.”

I smiled despite myself. I was so caught up in my conversation with Madeline, that I’d forgotten the danger I was in. Good to know Asia and Amit were looking out for me and trying to find a way to get me out.

“Brilliant,” I said. “Right clever you are.”

“We all had to cover as best we could.” He leaned closer to me, squinting in the darkness to get a good look at my face. “What happened to your face?”

My hand went to my face, which still hurt. The skin was swollen and stung to the touch. I didn’t have a mirror, but I imagined I looked more like a potato than anything else. “Long story,” I said.

“Can’t wait to hear all about it.” Amit sat up a bit in bed. “Mind if I get back in my bed? Your covers are scratchy.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is comfy.”

“As a medieval torture device,” he said as he hopped out of my bed.

I laughed, and the relief of actually getting away with it washed over me. First was the lightness, but then came an intense fatigue. I sat on the edge of my bed while Amit shuffled around his pillows and climbed under his covers.

“So what happened?” we both asked at the same time once he was settled. We laughed, and I pointed to him.

“You go first,” I said.

“First question,” he said. “Who says ‘comfy?’”

I grabbed one of my pillows and threw it at him. He caught it and quickly launched it back at me. It struck me in the face, but I didn’t care. All at once it felt like we’d never been stupid enough to try and sneak into the girls’ dormitory or hired Asia Campbell to make us a Polyjuice potion using a recipe from the restricted section. It felt like any other Thursday night with Amit making me laugh and stirring me out of myself.

“Okay, so apparently there’s a pool or well or moat beneath the staircase,” Amit said. “And maybe it knew we used Polyjuice potion and that’s extra naughty, so instead of just sliding me out like it normally does to boys, it dropped me twenty feet or so in water.”

“Were there crocodiles or Mer-people like a moat?”

“Just McGonagall and Percy Weasley.” I sat up and raised my eyebrows. He shook his head. “Not immediately obviously.” He cocked his head to one side. “Though that could be a right proper form of torture. Could you imagine McGonagall in a bikini and Percy in a speedo telling you how they’re going to call your parents and give you detention.”

I laughed, but then realized what he said. “Your parents? Your dad is going to kill you.”

Amit shook his head. “First, somebody here is going to have to figure out how to ring my parents, but once they do, it won’t be Dad I’m worried about.”

“Your mom?”

Amit nodded. “I’m imagining her running down poor Diagon Alley, looking for any and every one to help her send a Howler to me.”

“Yikes.”

“Yikes, indeed.” Amit collapsed back into his bed and looked up at the ceiling. “The good news is that this is Hogwarts. My parents have no idea how to discipline the wizarding world.” In the moonlight draping across his face, I could see him smirk to himself. “Imagine them trying to take away my wand.”

I laughed. Amit was Muggle-born. His parents were wealthy and had classic wealthy-parent unrealistic expectations for him, but they had no idea how to handle the wizarding world. Thankfully, they weren’t afraid of wizards and witches like a lot of Muggles were. They thought it was fascinating, and I think Amit’s dad wanted to buy a shop in Diagon Alley and sell high-end clothing to wizards.

“If it were one of my siblings, they’d take away their car or computer. For me, they don’t know what to do. They’re never quite sure if I actually need a cauldron for class or if it’s purely cosmetic.”

“You think Snape would let you get out of potions because your parents confiscated your cauldron?”

Amit sat up on his elbows and smiled at me. The moonlight shone behind him and lit up his dark curls, making them look silvered. “Maybe if I told him it was all over a Polyjuice potion?”

“Anyways, what did McGonagall say?”

“Oh, exactly what you’d expect. That I should be ashamed of myself — I’m not. That it’s highly inappropriate — I think the stairs will get over it. Blah blah blah. A month of detention, and I’ll have to talk to Dumbledore sometime next week with the Head Boy and the prefects. They’ll decide if there should be expulsion or some other blah blah blah.”

“Expulsion?” The word sent chills over me.

Amit shrugged. “I don’t think they’ll do it. People have tried it before, boys will be boys.”

“I hate that phrase.”

“Sure, but in this case, it will work out for me. I mean, the curse worked. It stopped me. No girl was scandalized. Besides, it’s not like there’s a curse to keep girls out of our dormitory. I could have a civil rights case on my hands. Power to the people.”

“I don’t think you have a civil right to sneak into the girls’ dormitory.”

“Fair, but you can see there’s an injustice here.”

“An entirely tangential one, yes.”

“Bah.” Amit waved a hand at me. “You’re no fun being reasonable and even headed, Rowena.”

I rolled my eyes. It was an annoying pet name most of the other Gryffindors in my year liked to use for me. They liked to say that I was more of a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor. I don’t know why they use it like an insult; the Ravenclaws don’t seem to mind it. Besides, what’s wrong with intellect and wit? It’s not like Godric Gryffindor was an idiot. He got us good today.

“There was some girl scandalization,” I said, pushing past his taunt. That really got his attention. Amit flung off the covers and swung his legs over the edge to sit closer. We spoke softer than whispers as I told him about chatting with Madeline and Asia’s rescue.

“What did you learn about Madeline?” he asked. His eyes were wide, and although I didn’t think he was apathetic to me being portrayed as a banshee and getting a nasty Stinging Jinx to my face, it annoyed me that he brushed past everything to talk more about her.

“Well, she prefers Maddie.”

“Maddie?”

“It’s what her friends call her.”

Amit nodded and tapped his fingers against his nightstand. I could see his brain at work, creating new cue cards in his mind and categorizing each new piece of data. “What else?”

I shrugged. “Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. You were the one who was supposed to do the talking. Why do you think the stairs rejected you but not me?”

“Dunno. What do you mean you didn’t learn anything else? You were with her for almost an hour. What did you two talk about?”

“Um … I don’t know … I just had to figure out how to talk like Olivia to not get caught.” How could I explain letting her brush my hair? Was it really an hour? The moment felt over in half a second, and I — I miss it. A keen ache stabbed at my heart, as though a portal to a beautiful world was opened only long enough for me to pine for it but not long enough to enter.

“I was more worried about you and Asia. Olivia and Agnes showed up at the bottom of the staircase after you dropped.”

“They what?”

“Yeah. I guess the date didn’t go so well.”

“Cedric and Wood were supposed to keep them busy for three hours. Do you know what happened?”

“I didn’t have tea with the woman I was impersonating, no. Asia distracted them long enough to … I don’t know what she did. We owe her big time.”

“Yeah, for making a Polyjuice potion that only worked for you. I think I’ll be getting my money back from everyone involved.”

“Yeah. Right.” I didn’t say that the potion did work. We were convincing impersonations of Agnes and Olivia. It was the staircase, just like Asia said, but it didn’t detect me. Why didn’t it detect me?

“We should probably get to bed. We’ve got Transfiguration in the morning.”

“Right.” The idea of facing McGonagall sounded worse than letting Asia practice her Stinging Jinx on me some more. “Does McGonagall know that we helped you? I mean, does she think you made the potion by yourself?”

“She didn’t say. It was more of a fit than a lecture, to be honest. I imagine she’ll have a full dissertation for me tomorrow as to why I’m a disgrace to my house.”

“Right.”

“But you should, um, get rid of the clothes Asia stole for us. Burn them or something. You wouldn’t want it traced back to you.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.” I looked down at the clothes I was wearing that weren’t mine. All our stuff — including a bubbling cauldron of Polyjuice potion — was in a storage closet nearby. Hopefully, Asia would find them and hide the evidence. I’ll have to check first thing in the morning. I went to get out of the clothes and put on my pajamas, but I froze before I took off the skirt. I don’t know why, but despite the cold, something about it felt nice. Maybe it was the Scottish heritage. Was I born with an affinity for kilts? On a whim, I headed to the toilet to get another look at myself.

“Where are you going?” Amit hissed after me, but I ignored him. When I approached the mirror, some stupid and foolish part of me expected to see Olivia Snarzle’s face looking back at me. Instead, I saw myself: dirty brown hair that I kept short and hassle-free, a short dark beard, blue eyes that were paler than Olivia’s — almost like ice — and a crooked nose. Of course, most of it was obscured by the horrendous Stinging Jinx which left me puffy and disfigured. I wish I could say I looked like a Scottish Highlander or hairy Viking, but the truth was I looked like a blob. I mean, the frame was all right — 6’4 and broad shoulders — but instead of muscles, there was pudge. And my round face and chubby cheeks would still look ridiculous without the swelling of Asia’s spell.

But it wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to, and I tried not to dwell on it. The Stinging Jinx would be gone by tomorrow, and then I’d be back to the same face I’d been looking at for years — notably not Olivia Snarzle’s. I stood up on my tiptoes to try and get a good look at the rest of myself. The top, sweater, and robe weren’t too different from what boys wore, just a slightly different cut. The biggest thing was how tight they were on me. I was obviously nowhere near as twiggy as Olivia, but even the tightness caught me off guard. I expected to look like a water balloon about to burst, like it would draw more attention to my gut. But it didn’t. Something about it hugging my body made me look slimmer, and I didn’t understand that at all. It didn’t look too bad if I was honest.

But then I saw my legs.

The skirt I wanted to see — which felt kind of nice now that I was used to it — looked ridiculous. My thighs looked huge. My calves were swollen in the socks, and the bursting balloon effect was obvious from the waist-down. Worse of all was the hair. So much hair. My pale skin looked dark and scored — almost furry — giving me the distinct vibe of a bear in a skirt.

I rushed out of the bathroom and didn’t waste time getting to my bed to start peeling off the ridiculous outfit. This was stupid. I didn’t know what I was thinking. Even if they looked good and felt right, that was when I was Olivia. Of course, I’m not Olivia. That was Polyjuice potion, and the ethical lines there were blurry at best. There’s a reason Polyjuice potion wasn’t for younger students. I can’t imagine if anyone could go around looking like other people, looking however they wanted. No. That was wrong.

I got into my pajamas and bundled up the girl’s clothes. Amit was right; they were evidence. I should burn them or something the first chance I got. Whatever I was going to do to the Polyjuice potion supplies, I should do to these. But for now, I decided to leave them under my mattress where they should be relatively safe. The house elves weren’t nosey, and they didn’t rat on people as far as I knew.

“Know any good places for a fire?” I whispered to Amit.

Snoring was all I got in reply.

“Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “Long day.” I sat on my bed, feeling the bulge of the strange clothes underneath me. I’d have to ask where Asia or Amit got them. I mean, some girl is probably missing her clothes. Not like she couldn’t get a dozen more in a heartbeat. They’re uniforms, right? To her, they’re nothing special but another spare. It’s not like we stole some precious sweater or favorite skirt from some poor girl. Just another dumpy Gryffindor top and Hogwarts skirt. She probably bought them in bulk in Diagon Alley.

I got off the bed and took the clothes out. I don’t know what it was about them or why they bothered me. I kept thinking of some poor girl missing her skirt, but that was stupid. It’s not like I’d ever miss a pair of pants. Last year Amit accidentally set one of my pair on fire when we were studying for O.W.L.s. I didn’t cry myself to sleep. I got a new pair. But as I ran my hands over the fabric of the skirt, I kept thinking that someone had to be missing this. Sure, I looked hideous in a skirt, but Olivia didn’t. None of the girls did. Now that I think about it, I can’t think of a single time I’ve seen a girl and thought she looked anything but fantastic in a skirt.

What was I doing? I was a mad man. It was the middle of the night, and I was sitting in the moonlight and running my hands over fabric like some deranged and over-zealous tailor. But the truth was, it felt nice. And even if the skirt looked ridiculous on me, it didn’t look ridiculous on Olivia. More precisely, it didn’t look ridiculous on me as Olivia. For some reason, that made it more than a pair of pants to me. Like a favorite pair of pants. Maybe not one you wear all the time because they’re slightly uncomfortable or they’re too formal or informal. But there are moments when you think to yourself, “oh, I can wear my favorite pants today!” That’s normal right? Other people do that? I know Amit has favorite shirts and cufflinks and pants. Sure. Yeah.

Something darted past the window, obscuring the moonlight on the skirt. I jolted up and looked around the room, but it was empty. The circle of four-poster beds showed no movement. I squinted hard into the shadows, but there was nothing watching me. I half-expected Asia to come in and break down the plan for tomorrow. I imagine she’d want to corroborate stories. But nothing moved in the darkness.

Out of the corner of my eye, something moved again. I whirled around to look out the giant window, and there, gliding through the moonlight, was a large and terrible … thing. It was in a black cloak that hung well below any legs it might have had. Whether from darkness or the hood of the cloak, I couldn’t see any face on the creature either, but as I watched it, I had this cold feeling that it didn’t have any face at all. That cold spread through me and cut my blood. I felt as though every good part of this night — looking into my reflection and seeing Olivia, relaxing as Madeline brushed my hair and hummed — was all a dream. The only real thing was the fear and pain of the evening.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the creature as it floated over the Hogwarts ground, back and forth as though it was searching for something. Dumbledore said they were going to be on campus this year, looking out for Sirius Black, but I hadn’t had the displeasure of feeling one yet. Merlin’s beard, it was almost a football pitch away, and yet the sadness rippled off it like a nuclear blast. What would it be like to have one of those things guard your cell? To kiss you?

Dementors.

I sighed with relief as it flew out of my line of sight, wrapping itself around the tower. I ripped myself away from the window, grabbed the bundle of clothes on my bed, stuffed them in my dresser, and buried myself under my covers. As the terror in my bones faded, exhaustion claimed me, and I sank into a dreamless sleep.